Family or not?

As in fulfilling my rather negative feelings toward my big family, it happened just as I predicted it would be. When I say family of course it means my mom, dad, bros and sis. Big family contained uncles, aunties and cousins. And now I’m talking about those on my dad’s side.

When I said people got out of touch and grew more ignorant, being around them is the least I want to do. My sis sent us email portraying what happened on Christmas eve. Most of them showed up. A cousin’s hubby didn’t show up, as revenge to his wife because she wouldn’t show up at his family’s event. Another cousin’s hubby used his kid’s being sick as an excuse to come (isn’t the rule that at least 1 member from each family show up?).

I really can’t write here what she said, but I can sense a strong ignorance atmosphere happened there. I do wonder it my big family has gotten this bad or is it my sis being so negative and cynical? Yes I can laugh reading parts of it, and yes, I’ve to admit I was just glad I wasn’t there and bear the whole process.

Guess I’ve grown to be ignorance also, huh? This can’t be. I think I need to do something for myself to at least be part, to show them that I’m not walking away from them.

Hmmmmm..

merry merry!

Along with the missing out the feeling of being in a family, Christmas (holiday) still comes. Usually we start asking around who will be away and who is staying, this question especially addressed for the ‘pendatang’ (non Balinese).

A good friend gave a positive response upon my idea of arranging a Christmas Eve dinner for those who aren’t going back to their hometowns and offered to have it at her house. I called them (including myself) “orphans” who won’t be with family for Christmas. There were around 12 of them in our circle (2 couldn’t come, 2 didn’t show up) and anybody could bring anything for the dinner, either a simple dish, drinks or simply bring themselves.

I decided to serve starter, simple nachos. Not having kitchen utensils I went there earlier to cook it. After lunch I went to Bali Deli and shopped grated cheese, nachos, and jalapeno. Spread nachos in a baking tin, spread the cheese richly, and later the jalapenos on top. Heat it for 10 mins and it was ready. I miss cooking.

So last night there we were, 10 of us sat around a new thick teak table. Surprisingly a non-Christian friend suggested that we should say grace, after all it was Christmas eve. And the task fell to me. I was totally touched by their openness and said grace for each of us being there.

The host played his role perfectly, starting from cooking to serving (lucky for my friend to have such hubby). Dinner served from starter, salad, main course (laksa and grilled pork) and desserts. It was simple and non-pretentious, but the atmosphere and situation was just perfect for most singles that we were. Good food, good friends, good laughs.

Looking around the table, we just knew that these were the friends that we want to keep for the rest of our lives. Even if we can’t, we’re simply grateful to have them in our lives right at this moment.

Kudos to JulieAgus!!

not home for Christmas

“Christmas has been more about selling, marketing season than its religious roots. I think we need to stick to our culture.” That was the last speech given by a friend on the last day of (working day, as next week the company will be closed) 2006. I sorta get what he was saying, it was still blurry and abstract, just the way he usually is, I guess.

Well this year I’m not coming home for some reasons, staying in this paradise island. Saving money for one as I’ll be off to BKK for the New Year. Yes, there’s another reason and that is I found it more and more difficult to feel home again. This is more to the big family. Can’t do much about my immediate family as my sis is in Nola, and my bro’s broke in Aceh and can’t afford airfare, so they can’t come home either (it’s all about the money huh.. hehe..).

We used to be very close, me and my cousins. We were there for each other for fun and hard times. But over the years as we entered the adult world slowly we grow farther and farther from each other. Getting married, taking care of new family and new babies, moving to another city or simply building up ignorance. People grow bitter; people blame one another for one’s misfortune. No hugs, no caring words. Maybe because we think we knew better?

I don’t know if there’s anything we can do. It’s not easy, easier to forget and walk away than being there, listen and be a family. Well, this year I’m walking away, I guess, but I do wish to build up the family connection again. I don’t know how, but I will do what I can.

Super-sensitive gal

I is ms. Super-sensitive. Yes, the grammar is correct, I is the initial of a friend of mine. She is so proud to be super-sensitive and her new found nick that she uses it as her new Skype name. Duh.

At first I thought the term reflects to a condition that she thinks she cares about people and easily touched by people’s bad luck, being sensitive or empathy to other’s hardship. Apparently not. It’s more of her being sensitive to what people think about her, and the way they talk to her. Whoa.. guess it’s self sensitive (or is it narcissism sensitive)?

A guy tried to talk her out of it and say it’s not good being too sensitive, let alone super-sensitive. Generally he said it would block her mind from accepting other people’s opinion, stop being open, and later get completely closed. Her reply, “Well, if I’m not open minded I won’t go out on a date with you.” Whoa… he immediately backed off. This story was shared to another friend and we thought that was the stupidest thing to say as they only went out once and even then he was being unfaithful to his girl friend who at that time was away (I didn’t know this then).

I don’t know about her, but I think it was embarrassing enough to later find out that you went out with this jerk and you just have to say such thing it to his face??? What for? Just to prove to the world that you’re open minded? I don’t know, it’s just twisted. Ok, let me be nicer, maybe she doesn’t really understand the real meaning of “being sensitive” in English, she just use it as it sounds nice. Nah, I wouldn’t tell her this. First she didn’t confide to me that conversation, secondly I don’t want to bear her inexhaustible explanation that she’s super-sensitive, she can’t have someone talk about herself like that.

Super-sensitive or super touchy??